I firmly believe, one of the lost values in personal interactions is the value placed on ones word. By that I mean there used to trust people in what they said. It was said, “A man’s word is his bond.” Or another was, “His word is good as gold”. What did this mean? Simply it meant that you could count on that person to do what they said they would do. Over the years we have lost this in common culture. Now it seems we say whatever is expedient at the time, and do what we do regardless of what we said.
Here is a simple example. I once had an exercise partner. He and I agreed to team up and work out together. It’s always easier to work out with someone else in my world. I would plan my day around it, bring my exercise clothes, eat a light lunch, etc. Then when we were supposed to meet I’d get a call and some excuse why he wasn’t able to make it. The first time this happened, I accepted it. The second time this happened I got irritated. The third time this happened, I told him he was no longer my exercise partner. I couldn’t count on him to show.
You may know people like this. Heck, you may be a person like this. The effect in how we live in this world is it creates breakdowns. Feelings get hurt, projects get derailed, relationships suffer. We tell people we will do something, when we know full well we don’t plan on doing it, because we don’t want to hurt their feelings. At least that is what we tell ourselves. It’s time to wake up and smell the coffee, THIS DOESN’T WORK!!!
Here is what does work. Start being the person you say you are. If you say you are going to do something, then do it. If you say you aren’t going to do something, then don’t do it. But you may say “That all sounds well and good, but in the real world we can’t always keep out word. What happens then?” It’s really quite simple. When you realize you are not going to be able to keep your word, as soon as possible, let the person you made your agreement with know you are unable to keep your word. Then they have a chance to make other plans.
These three actions create a world that works. When you start to be a person your word, people begin to treat you differently. Then begin to know you are someone who has power it what they say. You know you can count on them to perform. You also know, if something comes up and they are not able to keep their agreement, they’ll let you know asap. This way you can make adjustments to what you are doing. If they can’t make the movie, you can invite someone else. If they can’t get information you need on a project to you by the deadline, you can find other ways to get it.
When I meet someone who I can count on to “be their word”, I know they are someone who is up to something in life. I can count on them to perform. If someone is “not-count-on-able” I quickly learn to not include them in things that are important to me. I see them like the weather, you never know what you are going to get. If they show up, that’s fine, buy my life is going to be great regardless.
So the question arises, do you want to be someone people can count on? Do you want to be consider as a contribution to life, of merely part of the window dressing? Either one is okay. Just know this, you teach people how to treat you by how well you keep your word.
Now imagine a community, let’s say Sarasota, where everyone you know is as good as their word. A world of accomplishment and relatedness arises. Sarasota gets know as “the place to be” because things happen!
Now here’s the big bonus. You begin to know yourself as someone who has personal power. You know that when you say you will do something, it will get done. You begin to actually count on and trust yourself. In ancient Egypt when Pharoh said “let it be written, let it be done”, it happened! Imagine if you could trust yourself to have that power in your speaking. In life, really we can not control much of what happens. The one thing we have dominion over is what we say.
So I offer this project. Let’s call it SRQ-IQ. It stands for Sarasota Integrity Quotient. One definition for integrity is honoring one’s word. Honoring means not just following the letter of the law, but the intention behind it. The more your can be counted on to honor your word, the higher your personal l”IQ”, Integrity Quotient. As this idea is shared here in our community, and other people take this on as how they want to be, our Sarasota community IQ gets higher. So are you in? Can we count on you to up the SRQ-IQ?